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when I told them no and they had the wrong number, the amount of calls increased, and I had to block their numbers. about two years ago, I started getting calls and texts from people who were asking if I was interested in selling the property. Okay so for legal reasons this is all a very funny joke and none of it is real I promiseīasically there’s a property listing floating out there somewhere online that lists my phone number as a contact for the owner of a house in a suburb of, ohio, even though that is a town I have never lived in. I know everyone has some wild catfish stories and I need to know them You’re not “Enlightened”, you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six hours straight before calling it a day.
#Always sometimes monsters jack questions full#
What, I don’t wanna do an interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens and suddenly I’m the ‘troubled youth’ you need to Robin Williams “O Captain My Captain” your way into having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking Christ. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing ‘kumbaya’ with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair who writes bad porn on the side, I’d go out to the parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the disgraced electrician. Maybe I don’t wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from Computer Sciences to “align our auras” or some shit. Well fuck, Professor Pillsbury, maybe I ‘seem tense’ because I walk into a room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with some shit like “a tree……… Is a Poem” and I gotta sit here and politely tell you that No I’m Not Comfortable Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound like the way the color yellow smells. “You seem tense.” Oh, I seem tense? I seem tense. Are you giving me an option?”Įvery goddamn day. “Do you want to tell us about your saddest memory?” Pretentious-ass, condescending motherfucker. “Here’s a photograph of a tribal shaman, describe him using nature words” asshole. “Do you want to share your poetry with the class to get in touch with your emotions” ass fucker. “Hit the gong to begin class”, “Namaste, Children”, “I wanna go backpacking in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum circle” ass bastard. I’m immediately sucked back into my fuckin. i feel so connected… to indian culture ….
Including strong language, racist, homophobic, and transphobic language, drug / alcohol use, nudity, violence, and extreme subject matter.White person: *eats chicken tikka masala once* i just…. You're truly in control of the story, with a right to refusal.Īlways Sometimes Monsters deals with serious stuff, depending on your choices. Nearly all of the game's content is optional, including the entirety of the primary narrative.
#Always sometimes monsters jack questions how to#
Learn how to manage the demands of various social relationships as you maintain a life in the spotlight, and reach for your goals.ĭecline Anything you don't want to do.
Your entire continuity will be carried over.īuild Relationships with your spouse, friends, and more. Import Save Files from Always Sometimes Monsters to continue your story, no matter how tragic or triumphant your ending may have been. Whether you like being a diligent workaholic, or prefer the route of a relaxed layabout, the choice is entirely up to you. In addition to countless dialogue choices, you'll decide how you want to live.
Roleplay Creatively as you navigate the life of your character. Along the way, you hear about vicious rumours claiming you're a total fraud.Īs you journey through five unique cities, meet fans and critics alike, and make friends with your fellow busmates, it'll be your choices that help unravel the conspiracy laid against you. You play a recently married author who joins a cross-country bus tour to promote your next upcoming novel.
#Always sometimes monsters jack questions simulator#
About This Game Sometimes Always Monsters is a narrative roleplaying life simulator filled with choices.
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